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California Weather
- 5/21
When I told everyone I was moving to California, the first thing
everyone said had to do with the weather. "It's nice there." "I
wish I was there." Or they would make the surfer sign with their
hands and say "cowabunga." How Ninja Turtle of you.
My problem with the weather is the same problem women have with
nice guys. Nice is boring. Everyday is always nice, always sunny.
The weathermen here have nothing to work with yet somehow the
stations employ them year-round. They should just make the
weatherman a temp so they can tape him for a week and then run it
every seven days. The Californians won't know the difference while
the weatherman goes back to his employment agency for his next
assignment.
I like how the weatherman realizes how boring the weather here is
so he tries to catch people off guard by reporting all these low
numbers. "It's 12 in Hollywood, 10 in Riverside and only 6 in
Ventura." Dude, you're talking about the wind speeds. I guess I'll
bundle up in a windbreaker while I'm at it. If it wasn't for
offices, restaurants and the law I would never wear a shirt.
The worst part is how people here complain when the weather here
is anything less than perfect. "Oh my goodness, it's 72. I'm so
chilly." Are you kidding? 72 is room temperature. I know people in
New England who would cut you in the winter for half that.
After the weather, people always mention the traffic to me as does
every single radio station here every ten minutes. You can go two
ways on traffic reports, either tell us every single problem on
the road in LA (and the OC) or don't tell us anything. Because I
can do the traffic in one sentence: "Everyone could be going
faster." It's magic!
I guess what I'm trying to say is there are three things that Los
Angeles always has: sunshine, traffic and accessible porn. Ah, the
lengths you go to just to tell a porn joke. |
Blog
Archive
5/1 - New York Ramblings
4/8 - Temp Within a Temp
3/18 - The House Husband
2/8 - Playing With House
Money No More
1/22 - Get Out of School Free Card
1/21 - Shoveling Dad
1/6 - Vegas Baby Vegas
12/26 - The Rock n' Roll
Rabbi
12/14 - Making the
Working Class Laugh
12/7 - Lucky Seven
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